Later, mane.

Something I've aways identified with, in my opinion, is my hair. Since I was a little girl, I noticed my hair was always different than most of my friends. Bigger, frizzier. I always needed more products, more equipment and more time to get ready than everyone. My locks were first straight and fluffy, then shifted to curly and big when I hit puberty. I remember so clearly comparing my best friend, Jenna’s, ponytail to mine when we were in middle school. Hers was literally a fourth of mine. I also remember having my Cheerleading coach my senior year in high school tell us we had to keep our hair long enough to put in a ponytail for games and competition. I loved the sass on her face two days later when I had chopped it all off. Needless to say I have a strong pattern of growing my hair out for years then having a dramatic revamp.

Though I did just that today, the feeling was completely different. I haven’t cut my hair since 2014. I take that back, one trim about 18 months ago. But I’m talking about making a change. The past two years have been full of changes but one thing I’ve held on to tightly are my locks. They wrapped me up often on the left side of my neck. Highlighted my “good side,” when I was completely alone in a new city. They’ve protected me from the NYC & VA winters giving me warmth under and beanies. I’ve dyed them all sorts of colors to express how I was feeling both on my own and at the salon. Every time the stylist asked to cut some off, I’d quickly refuse, no matter how damaged the ends were. This nest has been with me through some of the hardest cries and conversations I’ve ever had in my life, along with the most sincere times that have made me completely speechless.

Guys, I know its just hair.

But lately, I’m unpacking what I identify myself with. What I’m attached to and why. Sutra 1.12 - Abhyasa vairagyabhyam tat nirodhah. Fancy for Practice & Non-attachment. Non-attachment being an essential companion to practice.

Take a minute and observe what you think identifies you. Are you gripping onto something so tight that has nothing to do with your inner light? I definitely did. And still do, but it all starts somewhere. 

What happens when we say Never.

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Is there something in your life that you have vowed NEVER to do? NEVER to even consider? When it crosses your mind, you don’t even finish the thought before you see red? For me, I see a big red X. This big red X would show up on the concept of moving back to my hometown. For years, I vowed it would NEVER happen. Nope, nada, nuh HUUUH. Not even an option. I’m not going to say this was my only NEVER, but it definitely lived at the top of the list. I figured after leaving when I was 22, there wouldn’t be a reason to come back other than visiting family and a few close friends. In fact, coming back was nice. And admittedly not in that warm “going home,” kind of feeling. But more in an “I’m too good for this place,” kind of feeling. It made me feel accomplished if I didn’t live here. Like I was entitled to be an asshole because I “did my time.”

Well, fast forward to 32 and I’ve been back for a full year now. However, honestly I feel like I’ve just arrived. Not physically, but mentally and spiritually. It took me getting slapped in the face with some serious doses of reality and humility to pick up what the universe has been putting down. When teaching yoga, I love to find different ways of describing a certain movement or action. I.E. press your hands into the floor, root your palms into the earth, or glue your entire palm, knuckles and fingertips into the cushion of your mat. What I’m saying is, everyone hears things differently. And as a teacher, it’s amazing to see the light bulb go off in a student. And that’s exactly what happened to me within the last few weeks of living in Christiansburg, Va, the little mountain town south of Roanoke.

While I’ve been here for the past year, I’ve been kicking and screaming. Though the reason why I’m here is 100% my truth, there have been a lot of personal challenges. Many of my tribe have been supportive, some worried while listening to my struggles. Some have attempted to remind me of who I am and what I can conquer. I’ve heard it all. Then, not only did I HEAR it, but I FELT it. It came from multiple sources, each randomly put into my path and some were complete strangers. Day after day after day. I had been feeling like the universe was against me, she wasn’t listening and was ignoring my questions. Then, I realized she had been asking me to simply LISTEN all along.

Stop kicking and screaming.
HEAR me.
Sit.
Listen.

Through strangers and acquaintances, this is what she said.
-Do you realize you’re not the little girl that lived here years ago?
-I didn’t know you as a younger you, but the You I know now is powerful and has a gift.
-Had you ever thought you were brought back here to be the leader? It was a launching pad for your life, maybe it’s full circle and now a launching pad for your next chapter.

-Have you met your analytical side yet? She questions everything. <----This, my friends, was where humility and possibility met face to face. Nicky Aymes, local Reiki healer (Find here here!) lead a Chakra based meditation class at In Balance Yoga a few weeks ago. She mentioned your Analytical side, and your Spiritual side. Your spiritual side is constantly trying to guide you towards your true path. It helps you see and choose what serves your heart best to live the most freeing and fulfilled life you were meant to live. Your analytical side is what questions those spiritual thoughts and what we often identify with. “Are you sure that makes you happy? That might be hard and uncomfortable to make happen. You should probably just stay put.” So, for me, my analytical side reminded me that I hated this town. Every time I felt joy or strength (my spiritual side talking) she would say, “Hey wait, no, you don’t like this place remember? You’re the girl that left, it’s not good enough for you. You can’t be successful here so why try?” A couple of years ago, my spiritual side took charge. I made intense changes while my analytical side tried to step in. I didn’t let her. I’m now pretty familiar with my spiritual side and when she’s stepping up. She’s continued to do so in SO many ways in the past two years. But now, I’m more familiar with my analytical side. Since this class I’ve caught her so many times stepping in. And don’t get me wrong; if we didn’t have this side, we’d float away. She’s 100% necessary but if we let her be the leader, we might miss out on some epic shit!

Next time you say Never, take a moment and see which side is making that statement. I’m not saying Never isn’t always necessary but from my recent experience, I’m understanding how binding it can be. When I was kicking and screaming about being here, it was a virus that was alive and showing up in everything. My evolving relationship, the work that I love, and my own worth. I couldn’t continue to live that way. I simply won’t. 

Going back to move forward.

I’m currently back where it all started.

However, very much in a place that I’ve never been before. I’ve spent the summer working at a French bakery/café in my hometown, teaching yoga once, maybe twice a week, opting out of being super involved with the local yoga scene. I’ve experienced completely new levels of exhaustion, served coffee to people I went to high school with–with a smile, and have asked, “How would you like your eggs cooked?” about a million times that I often say it in my sleep. At 31, post separation (not even officially divorced yet at that point) I voluntarily moved from the city I loved back to my hometown—-a place I vowed never to come back to for more than a quick visit. I’m here now because I allowed love and fierce trust to lead the way. Here are a handful of the lessons I’ve been dying to share.

You deserve it. All of it.
In the process of officially moving to Brooklyn, NY about a year ago I crossed paths with a really amazing guy in the process. A type of person I was trying really hard not to find –> a partner. I wasn’t looking for any type of relationship but instead nurturing the relationship I had with myself. A process, I know now, that can and will continue no matter if you have a partner or not. Adam and I first met when we were 12 and in the 7th grade. He lived in my hometown for a few short years then moved with his family. I saw him again randomly on my 20th birthday. Then saw him again randomly when I was 30 at a friends wedding. And to make a long, beautiful, epic story short, Adam and I fell quick and deeply hard for one another from afar. He had landed in my hometown again and I now lived in Brooklyn with no plans on when, if ever leaving. As our story was unfolding, I had a really hard time allowing myself to fall in love again. Allowing myself to feel the way I did.  At the base of it, I felt like I didn’t DESERVE it. I didn’t deserve this kind of love.

…because I was getting a divorce and left a marriage
…because I “should” stay single and keep options open and be single for [—–] this amount of time
…because I’ve hurt people in the past
…because this is too good to be true, no one is this awesome
…because women I knew who didn’t have this deserved it more than me

The reasons were endless, and either way I don’t deserve something so pure. Who am I to experience something so real? I fought it. But with these thoughts came the reality of the love we were experiencing together. It WAS this good. It WAS this real. And the question was, who am I NOT to deserve this? After a few months of us, a few short months after I asked him to be my boyfriend (which felt DAMN good), the conversation of living in the same town kept coming to the surface. We were spending our last dollars flying to see one another. Our families couldn’t get enough if us. Our friends loved the two us together and how happy we were making each other. Soon, my joy wasn’t being in NYC anymore. It was when I was with Adam. In person, over the computer, over the phone. I could no longer choose this city over this love. That wouldn’t be following my heart. It would be following the “should” again. I “should” stay here because it sounds and looks better. My mind was fighting my heart but I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted us. And I deserve us. I deserve love, I deserve joy, and so does he. All of us do. So here I am, back in my hometown discovering what Us looks like.

Ripping the rug out from underneath you is a GOOD thing. 
It’s the BEST thing.
My entire life was different the second I arrived back to Virginia. Not only were the atmosphere, lifestyle, mindset, speed and culture completely different than Brooklyn but also my personal situation. The choice of going from a long distance relationship to moving right in with someone I couldn’t see another day without. From living away from my parents for years and seeing them a few times a year to having them be 10 minutes away again. Teaching anywhere from 10-15 yoga and barre classes a week to teaching one and running around a busy café taking 10,000+ steps in 5-8 hours, refilling coffee pot after coffee pot. A drastic change simply makes you stronger. It teaches you how to adapt in your own way. How to choose what serves and doesn’t. It also teaches you what you need to be you. I miss walking and commuting around the city, so I walk the hills where I live and listen to the podcasts and music that fueled me in the city. I miss my NYC and Charleston tribe so we late night FaceTime, send videos, and call randomly. We continue to support each other. My coffee and breakfast dates are now with my Mom, and I’ve taught yoga to my kindergarten teacher and to Adam’s family. I’ve had moments here that make my heart sing along with moments of confusion and reminders of why I chose not to live here. Who knows what’s next but what I do know, is that I can handle it.

Your journey is unique. Own that shit.
When I first came back here a few months ago, I would go back and forth on being proud to have chosen love to feeling some sort of failure for being back home. Honestly, it was such an annoying toss up. I knew the reasons I came here were very pure and simple. I would have followed Adam anywhere to see that smile every day in person. It just happened to be here for now. But I wasn’t sure what to do here. Teaching full-time here would mean I’d be in my car driving back and forth from town to town to the few studios that exist. I wanted to do something different, to learn a new skill, get one paycheck instead of 3-5 different ones. So I took a job at this cute, local bakery. The first few times I ran into people I knew, or into people I knew once years ago, I would almost feel nervous and anxious. Embarrassed even. Like I had failed at something. But as the summer went on, I quickly felt so proud of where I am in my life. I’ve been through a lot since I left this place years ago and I’m not ashamed about any of it. I’m proud to make your latte and ask you how you want your eggs. I’m stoked I get to meet my mom for breakfast or a movie, that I’ve been able to see and get to know Adam’s family better. And what feels SO GOOD about following my heart instead of my head is that I don’t give a damn about what you think about it. I’m telling you, yeah YOU reading this whether I know you or not, that I could give two shits about what you think about how I’m living my life. And I tell you that with the utmost compassion. I’m telling you this because I hope you can tell me the same thing. That you can choose boldly without fear, that you can love fiercely without worry, and that you can trust your choices without comparing them to others.  

Being back in VA has been challenging but so rewarding. It’s taught us numerous lessons on how we react to things, who we can be for each other, and how our families are the RADDEST people in the world and we are so very lucky. We’ve worked our asses off all summer in order to take a cross country adventure. A trip we’ve talked about since he said YES to being my boyfriend last year. In about a week, we are off to marry my best friend (JD’s getting married!!), to meet and spend time with each other’s friends and family, and to discover areas together we might choose to call home in the future. Keep up with us if you want to via Instagram/Facebook, friends!

xoxo, jojo

San(f*cking)tosa everybody

Sahn-toe-sha | Second Niyama (observance) | Contentment

#sorrynotsorry for the f*bombs Mom.

I’ve never been more inspired to simply think. Today I’ve never felt more grateful, I’ve never felt more content. I’m so humbled by the life I’m living, by the experiences I’ve had up until this moment and for those I’ve yet to witness. I’m overjoyed by the people and eye opening thoughts that are crossing my life and mind. I’ve never been more interested in understanding my own inner dialogue. The thoughts that have held me back from believing in myself for so damn long. What’s below is really personal y’all, it’s super vulnerable. I’m not sharing it with you to impress you, or to have you pat me on the back next time we hang out. I’m sharing this so it can maybe help someone, someday, see what’s possible. This may jump around a bit, so bear with me.

I’m currently separated from a 10.5-year relationship that included a strong 7 years of marriage to a wonderful person. Either you’ve heard, I’ve told you directly, or you lived it with us in some way. I wouldn’t change that time for anything. Marriage is f*cking beautiful. Love has so many dimensions. –>Insert the best and worst stories ever about marriage in your 20’s, beautiful family, epic friends, spoiled rotten pit bulls, moving 9x, career changes, losing loved ones, home ownership, traveling, crying, laughing and loving here. <–

Then, I left.

I got down and dirty into my heart last February and realized I couldn’t settle. And not just for my sake, but for his as well. I had the deepest love for the life we created but kept searching for something that wasn’t there. Adding to the things we owned, trips we took, locations we lived in, etc. I was constantly looking elsewhere for happiness to avoid the truth. Sometimes you have to go into super dark places to actually find it. 

Fast forward to the other night, when I visited those dark places I didn’t know existed. I was lucky enough to be a part of what I can describe as a 40-minute meditation on my previous apartment’s rooftop that included amazing circular sound by a dear friend and a sunset behind NYC that never gets old. A space I went to often while previously here for clarity, a 360 view of the sky, and a view of this majestic city in real time. In those 40 minutes, light bulbs went off. At many points in my life, I believed this could never exist. Being in the city I’ve dreamt about for years, trying to do what I love. I blamed myself for it, thinking I wasn’t good enough to live here, I wasn’t good enough to meet creative people and have real connections, that I could never bring such amazing energy into my life. I’d never make the leap to be here for myself, I’d never be smart enough to live, make it around or make the right choices to be in this city. I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH. Really? How terrible is that? That I created and believed that thought and it kept me from my best self. IT held ME back. I HELD ME BACK. What a f*cking eye opener. It was me all along. I visited that dark alley, unknowingly. I know I’ll visit it again at some point. I actually hope I do because when I arrived, the lights turned on and they were hella bright! 

It was then that I realized my reality. I’m here. I did it. I couldn’t wait to write it all down to remind myself that it’s there, that these feelings of contentment, Santosa, actually exist. And that it takes WORK. Self-work. Self-discovery. It’s not just a blanket word to use and act like things are ok when they aren’t. I had to go deep, I had to live through the fear and shame to then realize that I can support myself in so many more ways than I ever thought were possible. I love myself more than I ever have.

I LOVE Brooklyn.

I’m in LOVE with my neighborhood.

I LOVE the girls I live with.

I LOVE what I see in this city on a daily basis.

I LOVE sharing this practice. 

I LOVE connecting with people. Hearing their stories, and really.truly.just.listening. 

I LOVE vulnerability, connection, and bold reality.

I LOVE what the hard, scary, and heavy transitions have brought into my life. 

I also love that, with this work, a marriage of 7 years is ending with kindness. Matt reached out to me a few days ago. It’s been the first time since this process has unfolded that he’s reached out to me without any intention other than seeing how I was doing. This was huge for me, and I had no idea how much of an affect it would have. I didn’t know it was something I really needed. I am SOincredibly proud of who we both are becoming without one another, who we’ve helped each other become. We are handling this process with grace and with our best intentions at heart. I’m deeply grateful for our friendship, our open communication and our common threads that we can always return to. He’s a rock star and the previous love of my life. That’s worth everything.

Know all of this isn’t coming from a place of bragging, a place of showing off anything, or of rubbing anything in. It’s from a place of showing others what’s possible. If you feel something in your life is off, then it most likely is. Don’t ignore that shit. And it’s not just you that’s affected by it.

I’ll sum this up with a few thoughts I’ve taken away from the past year. Take it, leave it, love it, judge it, I don’t care just know that you are Love and can live the fullest life possible.

·      Closure is power. It’s acceptance in the clearest form. Don’t be afraid to find it.
·      Music is connection. And not just connection with others, but also with yourself. Sound allows us to experience presence in the purest form.
·      Fear is so healthy. It means you are f*cking ALIVE. Every decision I’ve made in this transition I‘ve been terrified of. They have been the best decisions I’ve ever made
·      Road tripping with your best friend is the SHIT and if you have the chance to do it, don’t say no.  
·      You are capable of ALL things. 
·      Loving yourself really is the only way you can truly love others.

Namaste beauties. 
xo
jo

I think I'll stay a while.

I had a conversation with an old friend a couple of months ago.

We randomly cross paths when we (unknowingly) need a dose of each other. This is a prime example and reminder that the universe does provide. His spiritual positivity is off the chart. I wish I could bottle it up and carry it in my pocket every day. He’s a heart follower, or should I say listener, who references WE often. As in HE, and his heart? The universe? God? It’s indifferent. He sees that in working together, there is an extraordinary life to live. He Trusts. Good company, no? As we were discussing where life has lead us, we were talking about what fuels us. I’m from the mountains of Virginia and LOVE going back to the views and fresh air. I take something different away every time I visit. I often even feel guilty when I say I don’t love hiking or camping or swimming in the lake. So I realized during this conversation, that this city really does have my heart. I told him of the Brooklyn & Manhattan view from my rooftop, the surprise scope of the Empire State building and Freedom Tower (which sparkles at night, y’all) when I turn random street corners. How I sometimes take the long way home just to take in the birds eye views from the Q train of the East River, Brooklyn and Williamsburg Bridges, the city scape, and so, so much more. As I babbled more about my starry eyed NYC experiences, he shared it was clear that I’ve landed where I should be. And I’d like to think he’s a good judge of character. He’s right. I am where I’m supposed to be and I don’t want to leave. I’m not ready. We aren’t done yet.

After that conversation in May, YTT has only supported me more in these thoughts. When in TT, you get Vulnerable. You get Real. You experience shift and change on such a grand scale. Change can even be an understatement. Svadhyaya (self-study, one’s own reading, & my personal favorite, virtual observance) isn’t only related to ancient texts. It’s to study ones own reactions, the body’s own innate response, your own True North. Awareness of time, life, and choice. And if we’re lucky, this experience doesn’t happen alone. I’m SO very grateful for my NYC tribe. These strong, inspiring individuals have lifted me up, helped me dig in, and have reminded me of the strength that exists within. I came here hoping to make a friend or two as I figured out how to simply get around. I didn’t expect these connections. I didn’t expect to love it here as much as I do. But sometimes the best relationships, and the best experiences, are the ones you never saw coming. And the ones you never planned for.

There are things in this city I don’t love. There are also many things I miss about Virginia & Charleston. I have fear that I won’t make it in this city. I fear I won’t be able to financially support myself, fear I’ll simply fail. But the good thing about being starry eyed is that I Trust. I Trust (yes with a capital T) that the universe will guide and provide. So I fall. Maybe I run into something or someone from looking up at this majestic city. At least I’m looking up and taking it in rather than looking down into my phone. I’ll just get back up, high five a stranger and get back to it.

So Charleston, I’ll see you in August. I’ll be there for 6-8 weeks. I’ll squeeze you tightly, take in your warm salty air, your amazing food and amazing people. NYC, I’ll see you in the Fall.

REALity

I’m about to teach yoga for the first time in over 2 months.

I’ve taught some single postures a few times alongside my (ahhhmazing) 300hr peers in training but that’s it. This may not sound like a huge deal. However, when you’ve quit your real job (ahem, twice), lived the past four years teaching weekly, have fought for classes, been building up your knowledge, your student base and confidence in a saturated yoga market and now believe in your worth, it’s a little dance with your ego taking on the role of instructor again after this small gap of time. 

This gap hasn’t been a vacation I’ve just arrived back from. These past two months have brought on so much heavy reality and change that I didn’t see coming with this experience. Arriving in this city alone brought these deep, heavy and honest internal conversations to the surface. I’m the one asking the questions and I’m the one searching for the answers. My new best friend has crooked teeth and a mole on her cheek. I have to trust her. She’s going to be around forever. I thought my focus here in NYC would be on practicing yoga every (damn) day in pretty studio’s with big-named teachers all over the city,  full of fancy #stopdropandyoga pictures with dreamy cityscapes behind me, and yoga YOga YoGa yoGa yoGA yOgA YogA YOGA. Because, you know, that’s what’s important. Well, that’s only been about 33% of my experience so far. It’s actually been super challenging to focus on my training, my homework, and my reading assignments. The real questions of life showed up on my doorstep shortly after I arrived to my warm little furnished bedroom in Brooklyn. They continue to show up on my mirror in the mornings, on my yoga mat as I practice. They swim in the tears that roll down my face after an intense heart opening practice or vocal session with my YTT group. (YTT’s can we PLEASE do that again? Who’s got a harmonium?) They are also in the refreshing moments in the city when the sun is shining and people are smiling back at me on the street. When New Yorkers have a contagious pep in their step and just might talk to you on the subway (OMG!). That’s when I remember that this is the Yoga. Reality. Presence. Fear. Freedom. Choice. Weakness. Honesty. Vulnerability. Bad days, good days. Scary conversations. New conversations. And so, so much more. 33% of this experience so far has been asana, anatomy and so many teaching takeaways to put in my yoga instructor tool belt. But this other 67%? That’s the real shit. The dark moments of tears and of guilt. The scary uncertainty of the future. The fear and shame of hurting others by the domino effect of my own choices. But again, I have to trust my new best friend. Her gut, her instinct, her heart.

Rumi get’s it.

“I have been a seeker and still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.”

Oh and let’s also dance with the fact this is a corporate yoga class with a large fashion design company on the 21st floor of a building around the corner from Times Square. 

NBD.

 

The man in 4L

It’s been a while since I’ve lived in an apartment.


8 years to be exact. No, I take that back. I’ve lived in a few apartments and duplexes since then but have always enjoyed the top floor making an effort to have no one above me. My two experiences of having someone above consisted of two lovely but very LOUD lesbians in college, then a family of five living in 800sf with a very obnoxious sound system to play their Xbox. Needless to say if it said top floor, I was in.

This time around, I completely forgot this concept. I was so gunho about this apartment (& still really am minus this) because of the warm vibe it had the second I walked in. A fabulous former hoop dancer as a roommate (win!), two adorable kitties (double win!), and a rooftop to watch the sunset when it’s not 10 degrees outside (holy moly that’s beyond winning!). The guy upstairs though. He’s teaching me a lesson in patience. I’m aware he’s a man from the singing-in-the-shower-like morning serenading I receive around the time I’m about to sit comfortably to meditate. Also, his footsteps. Or stomps we can call them. He likes to wear shoes, all day errday. & I don’t think he sleeps. Early morning he’s up and about along with late at night. Oh and he has a fabulous rolling chair that squeaks when he leans back, like my Dad’s did in his law office and home office when I was a kid. Oh, memories. I love you, Dad. My attempt at Pratipaksha bhavana, Yoga Sutra 2.33 & 2.34. Look it up, friends. 

They didn’t lie when they say this city doesn’t sleep. The sounds are very different from the chatter of Charleston and the soft crashing waves of Folly Beach or Sullivan’s. Though, practicing yoga in Union Square with the horns, breaks, car engines, and the vibration of this city is actually very soothing for me. Much more than the man in 4L. But it’s a constant reminder that we are the center and there is this rotation of life happening all around us at all times. Close your eyes in this moment and listen to it. Picture the movement surrounding you. It’s all for a reason. You are a part of it, a very special piece to the puzzle. And so is the man in 4L, though it wouldn’t hurt if he just took off his shoes.   

noisyneighbor brooklyn doyou

But, Why?

Here it goes, at age 30.

I’ve never been much of a writer. Mainly because my mind is like a bouncy castle. You hit one corner and head in a completely unexpected direction. I tend to get distracted easily. I’ve kept a journal on and off for years but have a love for pretty notebooks so the compilation always shifted into another fancy covered book and only if I had the correct writing utensil. If I couldn’t find my thin ballpoint sharpie than I wouldn’t write my thoughts down. I’d see it as a sign it wasn’t the right time to write. And the journal needs to have college ruled paper in it. Wide-ruled? You may as well recycle the book. I won’t use it. See how I get a little distracted here folks?

My life right now, is EPIC. I’ve left my generous husband of 6.5 years (yes, we got married young) and our floppy eared pit bull at home. I’ve left my great teaching opportunities, students, and friends to complete my 300 hour yoga teacher training with a company and teacher I LOVE in the city I’ve dreamed of living in since I was 14. Alone. Knowing no one. Into a world that is 100% different. Completely new city, new living situation, new way of transportation, new way of grocery shopping, laundry, new weather, new space, new yoga, new sounds, new people, etc. Acquaintances here? Sure. A few from my past but no one that knows me well and who I am now. And if you do know me, you are aware that I fill my time and space with LOTS of people. Coffee dates, hugs, walks, lunches, dinners, FaceTime dates, wine nights, classes. I’m rarely alone without plans to have one of those before the day’s end. 

Many I’ve spoken with don’t understand why I chose to leave to accomplish this training. “Studios close to Charleston have a 300 hour program. Studios in Charleston have them, ya know. How can you just leave your husband and make him get a roommate in your house? That’s bold. What does he think about all this? How does your family feel?” Lots of questions of this nature. Now, after a week in this city, I’ve realized why I’m here. 

I have to love myself before I can love all of you.

I’ve been asked by students, friends and family to share my experiences while I’m here. That’s a loaded request. You guys might just get more than you’re asking for. Part of my hesitation is that I’ll share too much, break open more than I’d like to. However, that, may be exactly why I’m here.